I’m signed up for a race almost every month through September. (Need an August race, I’m hoping for Ragnar).
I think I’ve discovered a way to get in more runs during the week and it’s gonna be hard but I can do it. There’s no way around it, I’m gonna have to run after work 2x a week. I much prefer to run in the mornings but can’t make that work right now. So after work it is. And weekends will be my time for long runs.
I used my cane last night getting home on the bus. No one harassed me, no one yelled “faker” at me! The best was people moving their feet outta the way. Yay!
I realized last night, I need this thing now for my evening bus commute as I cut off a person waiting to exit the bus because I didn’t see him. So instead of looking like an entitled, rude asshole, I’d much rather look like a disabled person.
This blog started as a running thing and I sure haven’t been doing any running lately! I’d like to lay blame on the colder weather but the fact is that the weather is just an excuse. The fact is that I’m just not feeling it! I don’t feel like getting my gear on and heading out. I feel lazy and unfit and blahhhhhhhhhhhhh. The ridiculous thing is that I KNOW a run would help me with all of those feelings. But I can’t get my ass out the door and onto my beloved Greenway. WTF is wrong with me? I can rationalize in my head that it’s this or that or because of whatever. Excuses excuses excuses.
I plan to sign up for a series of races again for 2018 (I have been running these races since I started this running thing in 2013) which have always been a good motivator for me. I really need to make running a priority. For me and my mental health. And so I have something to blab about here in the space!
I don’t know why I fear using my cane in public. A variation on impostor syndrome or something maybe? Whatever is going on my mind, I’m pushing past it with the help of friends and especially my boyfriend. So last night, we went to a show and had balcony seats. Man, I get so anxious navigating those steep concrete stairs and navigating through all those people and I’ve been noticing at every show lately there is little undercurrent of anxiety which makes me a bit cranky so at the encouragement of my boyfriend, I brought my cane. And what do you know, it was a bit easier! I still need to feel confident in trusting the cane and using it as a tool to get around easier. And I will get less self conscious and more comfortable using it the more often I do! I’ll have more chances next week, as we’ve got two more shows coming up. One is in my favorite club that’s become nearly impossible to navigate as it’s painted black. hah!
Also, if you get a chance, LCD Soundsystem is a totally dancing fun time and you should definitely see them live!
